Our Duke has gone mad again… Edgar issues memo to ladies who use the word ‘sir’

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Edgar

Opinion article by Duke of Shomolu, Joseph Edgar

It makes me laugh when you reach out to a lady either by posts or physically and they end every retort with ‘sir’. It is really funny because to most of them who use this word, their aim is usually to create a boundary, formalise the discussions or just say – ‘‘hey I am not really that keen on whatever you have in mind.’’

When I was the self appointed Chief Marketing Officer at BGL and had a lot of females reporting to me, I got inundated with the ‘sir’ treatment anytime I reached out at night.

I work 24 hours and when I am struck with an idea or an inspiration I reach out and then you get ‘sir’ at the end of every retort from someone who just a few hours ago was screaming Edgar all over the place.

The arrogance of it all can be very amusing. You know women are always two steps ahead of you. So in their tiny heads, this one that is chatting me at night wants something and it’s either I won’t give him or let me do shakara small before I give him all without even considering the fact that maybe this was just an honest reach out.

This is not to say, that some women do not use the word genuinely or that some men are not usually up to mischief but the notion that ‘sir’ could stop anything is laughable.

As a veteran, I have come to the realisation, that the ‘sir’ is actually a come on. It is a way of saying, u need to work hard because I may want you but you won’t get me cheap.

On the down side it is also a way of saying, I am already weak and want you but please respect me and chase me like you would a normal woman. So in this case, you see the ‘sir’ melt away by itself even after just two minutes of engagement.

READ ALSO: Our Duke has gone mad again… Edgar chronicles Pastor Jimmy Odukoya’s journey from set to pulpit

The bold and confident woman and they are not plenty will call u your name even if it is in the dead midnight cos she already knows where she stands no matter where u want to carry yourself go.

So I have worked and interacted with ladies who will say, ‘Edgar oya what where you saying at 2am?’ Those are the kinds of ladies I really respect. They know their onions and will deal on their own terms and even if I try anything funny will put me in my place.

My sister Abosede who runs a brilliant internationally funded NGO and who is as beautiful as they come will call me at 4am and say, ‘Edgar, I want you on my TV programme and I will say OK. Or I will call Elvina or Kate Henshaw at midnight and those ones will be telling me’ sir’?

What prompted this talk this morning is what happened last night. In trying to rustle up more sales for my plays coming up next week, I sent out an intimate looking ‘Hi’ to over 10,000 people.

The idea was to get them respond and then I start selling one on one. Over 70% of the female retort came back with ‘sir’. Even the ones with scabies said ‘sir’ strong candidates for Okafor’s law said ‘sir’ and I am wondering just which school did they all go to learn such stupidity.

The ones who will openly flirt with you during the day, look at you one kind, walk one kind will now be saying ‘sir’ at night and to achieve what?

If men will begin to count how many holes they have entered after being called ‘sir’ you will faint from laughter.

That ‘sir’ doesn’t ever achieve anything and it’s the inexperienced men that will now be saying – who is your sir? please call me Ade or Wike ‘ experienced veterans will ignore and keep at it and the’ sir’ will by itself wither away just before the laps begin to open.

Don’t call me sir, call me Duke.

Thanks

 *Duke of Shomolu*

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